Maria Gaian, healed her wounded soul with magick!

In this post, I talk about how Spiritual practices such as Soul Healing and Rituals helped me to Ditch the Black Dog of Depression. 

Have you ever asked for help to heal from depression and felt like you were expected to run before you could walk?

What do I mean by that?

Every day I see people struggling because their GP, Psychiatrist, Counselor, Coach, significant other or family member has asked them to do things they aren’t ready to do.

They’re referred to a counselor before they’re ready to talk.

Told to cut out junk food when they’re barely eating.

Or advised to go volunteer at a rescue center before they’re even capable of getting off the couch.

Don’t get me wrong, communication, connection and contribution are three of the pillars of mental health and wellness, and are excellent ways to heal depression.

But you have to be ready.*

*Being ready means being willing to do the work to get to the next stage of healing.  

During my extensive research, I discovered that just like grief, there are different stages of depression.

And the important thing to note is that:

What works for you at one stage, might be impossible for you at another. 

I thought about my own experiences and I talked to other people in various stages of depression. 

The general agreement was that we definitely needed different things at different times, yet many people, including some professionals, don’t seem to understand this.

The most important thing I learned is that true healing from depression only happens if we do the right things, in the right order.

Otherwise we set ourselves up for failure, which only leads to more depression.

Introducing the Stages of Depression. 

I discovered that despite the fact that we’re all unique with different fears, beliefs, thoughts and experiences in life, the mental health professionals often treat us like we’re all the same.

They opt for what I call a ‘cookie cutter‘ approach.

It might work for some folks, but not everyone.

Talk therapy worked better for me when I was in the right head space.

If I was in the wrong headspace, it didn’t do me any good and left me feeling exhausted and even more depressed.

There are dangers to doing things in the wrong order.

We need different things as we go through the stages of depression, and the way we’re treated must reflect that, or we risk pushing ourselves too hard to do too much.

This achieves NOTHING and in a lot of circumstances can actually leave us feeling even more depressed, and we blame ourselves for our failure to recover.

After talking to a LOT of people who suffer from depression and from my own experiences, I began to put together a list of stages and the symptoms associated with each one.

Once you know what stage of depression you’re stuck at, you can start to do the right things to help you to recover.

You won’t push yourself to do too much and then feel guilty, or like a failure, cos you didn’t succeed.

You’ll know when it’s right to push yourself, and when it isn’t.

This is vital if we’re to overcome depression as quickly and painlessly as possible.

NOTE: Please be aware that I combine modern coaching and therapy practices with the power of ancient witchcraft to help my clients to heal and thrive as if by magick. If you’re wondering if all this magickal talk is a bit too ‘woo woo’ for you, please read this blog post:

https://ditchtheblackdog.com/think-im-too-woo-woo/

Crisis Stage: If you’re in the Crisis Stage, you might feel paralyzed by depression.

It feels like you can’t function, you feel empty, or in great pain, and you may have crippling anxiety.

You feel totally alone and as if no-one else could possibly understand what you’re going through. 

Your mind is packed full of false beliefs about being a burden, being worthless and life being utterly pointless.

You dwell on negative thoughts, past mistakes and losses.

At this stage, you might feel hopeless, helpless and powerless to heal, and may even believe that the world would be better off without you in it.

You want the pain to end and can’t see a way out of depression.

With no energy or motivation, everything feels bleak.

You need help urgently.

Zombie Stage: Next we have what I lovingly call the Zombie Stage.

You’re still in the thick of depression, but if you’re taking medication you aren’t in as much pain. In fact, you don’t feel anything at all.

In this stage you feel numb. No pain, no pleasure either. You might sleep a lot and let life pass you by, but at least you aren’t considering giving up – you probably don’t have the energy.

Not everyone goes through this stage, but if you do, it’s ok, I’ve got you.

Functional Survivor: Next we have Functional Survivor Stage. This one is the toughest in my opinion.

Everyone thinks you’re ok. You hold down a job, take care of your family and no-one would ever guess the pain you hide underneath.

You still need help to keep on keeping on. Maybe you experience nightmares, dissociative episodes, or intrusive thoughts that take you by surprise.

And even though you might be willing to accept that people who love you would be devastated if anything happened to you, you still find yourself wondering what the point is.

In this stage, you might not be actively looking for a way out, you just hope that something will do it for you so you don’t have to feel guilty about hurting anyone.

Motivated to Heal: aka the Anger & Frustration Stage

Next we come to the Motivated to Heal Stage which often feels like the Anger and Frustration Stage

This is where you become sick and effing tired of feeling sick and effing tired.

You might be feeling angry, especially if you feel that someone else has contributed to you feeling depressed. Or you might feel frustrated if you feel you can’t control a situation. 

You’re motivated to do something about fixing your life, so you can feel normal – whatever the hell that is?

Healing and Recovery:

This is the stage where you start to take action.

It’s not easy, but you’re beginning to work through your pain.

You explore ways to heal, some will work and some won’t, but you’re willing to try.

Maintenance: aka Thriving Stage

The final stage is the Thriving Stage.

You feel healthier and happier than you have in a long time.

This is the BEST stage to be in, but you aren’t out of the danger zone.

You created neural pathways when you were depressed, and they haven’t disappeared. They’re sitting there just waiting to be used again. You need to learn how to avoid reopening the pathways and create new ones.  

NOTE: Please be aware that I combine modern coaching and therapy practices with the power of ancient witchcraft to help my clients to heal and thrive as if by magick.

If you’re wondering if all this magickal talk is a bit too ‘woo woo’ for you, please read this blog post:

Think I’m too ‘woo woo’ for you? Read this before you decide!

An Important Note.

It would be lovely to think that you’ll move through the stages of depression in a nice tidy order. One step at a time until you reach the finish line when you can relax!

Yay! You’re cured!

The truth is that most people go up and down the stages. Often in ways that seem totally random.

Many people get complacent when they hit the maintenance stage and they forget, or think they don’t need to actively take care of their mental health.

This is a huge mistake!

Caring for your mental health and wellness is ongoing.

If you wanted to get physically fit, you wouldn’t go out running once and expect to never have to do it again.

Resilience to depression grows over time like a muscle. 

You have to keep practicing.

Life happens and you can be knocked back at any time.

You’re less likely to end up back in crisis mode if you mindfully maintain the ways that make you feel good and keep you on track.

Have you found this post helpful? If you’d like to let me know your thoughts on this, please come over to my substack where I have a safe space for comments. 

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If you’d like to learn more about the science behind Therapeutic Witchcraft, read this post next: 

Is Ditch the Black Dog Too Woo Woo for You?