I Got A Timely Reminder of How it Feels to be Depressed

Maria Gaian, Nature Therapist & Depression Survivor

When I started Ditch the Black Dog, I wanted to support as many depression sufferers as possible to find their own unique and magickal ways to feel healthy, happy and whole. 

But recently, as I started to write and speak about the subject of depression, I realised that I haven’t felt depressed in a LONG time. 

Although this is absolutely brilliant for me, I was worried that I’d forgotten how bloody awful it is when you’re in the middle of depression.

My inner B*tch, you probably know her – she’s that critical and negative voice that lives inside your head – decided to grab hold of this thought and boy, did she run with it.

She made me doubt my ability to help anyone to ditch the black dog and create a life they could feel enthusiastic about waking up every day for.

Well. I didn’t need to worry for long, cos my carefully managed calm and happy life suddenly turned into a shit show.

In the last few months I’ve gone through;-

🐺 several bereavements – both animal and human;

🐺serious health issues; 

🐺 our landlady deciding she wants her house back after ten years in the middle of a housing crisis in Spain;

🐺 financial issues; 

🐺kid stress; 

🐺 an elderly parent needing additional support;

🐺 and my siblings deciding to start drama, cos why the hell not?

The black dog has been enthusiastically nipping at my heels and I’ve been in danger of being savaged by her.

It’s really tested everything I’ve learned to keep depression at bay to the limit.

So I’ve been quiet for a while as I try to navigate the situations I’m finding myself in.

The good thing is that I’ve learned even more about how to help and support people better and I’ve been amending and refining my methods.

Over the next couple of weeks, I’ll be updating some of my older posts to reflect these new thoughts and experiences.

I feel called to share a bit more about what’s going on and how I’m coping with it all.

Not just to vent and get it all off my chest, but to be of service.

Someone reminded me that maybe there’s someone out there, maybe you, that might get something useful out of it, even if it’s only to feel less alone.

One of my big non negotiables when it comes to recovering from depression and keeping it at bay is connecting with people, even when you’re inner b*tch is screaming at you to isolate yourself.

So here I am walking my talk!

I’m spending time letting everyone know about the Black Dog Café.  It’s a free community for people struggling with depression to gather together to support each other. Fancy coming over? 

Click the button below to join. I’d love to chat with you. x 

With love and magick, 

Maria xx