Maria Gaian, Book Lover

What are the best books to read when you’re depressed?  

I’ve always loved books. My mother taught me to read when I was two years old and honestly, I think books kept me alive when I was a child. Hiding away from my abuser with a book was my safe space – a place I could fantasise about a different life, I wanted to be in the Famous Five or the Secret Seven, find my own Faraway Tree or live with Jo’s Boys or the Little Women.

Then a few years ago, I got too bnusy to read, I was buying books but never even opening them. 

I discovered the Amazon Kindle and I filled it with over 3000 books. but I would get distracted and never read them. 

To distract yourself, you get out your phone and start scrolling social media.

You ponder making a post sharing about how depressed you feel, but you know that for every person who leaves a supportive comment, there will be a bajillion trolls and haters, telling you to end it all.

Your heart sinks.

People are so vile to each other. 

Better to suffer in silence. 

A million posts tell you that the world’s going to hell in a handbasket.

More wars, more pollution, more inequality and exclusion.

What’s going on? 

Why are so many animals facing extinction?

You feel frustration and sadness as you keep scrolling. 

It’s the 21st Century, why are people still killing each other?

Why is starvation still happening when we have the ability to feed everyone?

How come women and kids are forced to walk miles to get water, only to find it’s filthy?

This isn’t only happening in distant lands either. 

Fundraising apps are doing a roaring trade as people in your area are asking for help with rent, food, medicine, vet bills, and even funeral costs.

And then the familiar voices of guilt and shame pipe up in unison: –

“How dare you feel depressed when so many other people have it so much worse than you do!” 

Maybe someone else actually said this to you when you’ve had the courage to admit to suffering from depression?

It’s one of my mom’s favourite phrases.

But it doesn’t make anyone feel better and all it does it make you suffer in silence. 

People are homeless due to war

If only we could heal depression by seeing other people suffering and being grateful it’s not us!!

Don’t get me wrong, gratitude has its place in depression recovery. You can’t feel two emotions at once, so if you try to cultivate gratitude, the black dog has to take a back seat. 

But being grateful that you aren’t suffering as badly as someone else is NOT a fix.

Mostly because many of us are empathetic to other people’s situations. 

We feel their pain as well as our own, which can make depression even worse!

And then we feel powerless and out of control. We start beating ourselves up for not being able to do anything. How can we help someone else when we can’t even help ourselves? 

But the truth is that no matter how much you see someone else suffering, it doesn’t invalidate your pain. 

It’s not a competition. Someone else’s suffering does not diminish yours, no matter what the cause is.  

With love and magick always,

Maria xx